Manzilian: A Cost-Benefit Analysis of Going Bare Down There
Whether you’re prepping for swimsuit season or you’re trying to impress your significant other, you’ve gotta look good below the belt. But if you’re reading this, there’s a decent chance you have a bush of pubes sprouting out of your undies.
For some guys, the logical next step is manscaping. But what if you’re looking for a cleaner aesthetic? And by cleaner, we mean stripping away every last strand of hair from your nether regions. Enter the male Brazilian wax, AKA the manzilian: a waxing service that leaves the genital area fully bare.
Some level of hair removal is standard for men and women these days. However, waxing the hair off your crotch is a sensitive subject for guys—literally and figuratively. This article covers everything you need to know about manzilians so you can decide if a bald undercarriage is the right look for you.
What Is a Manzilian?
A manzilian wax is a cosmetic service that removes all the hair from your groin area, including the area above the shaft, scrotum (ball sack), perineum (gooch), and butt crack. It’s also known as a “brozilian” or “boyzilian.” The manzilian is not to be confused with a male bikini wax, which only removes the hair around your underwear line.
A manzilian is (or should be) performed by a professional esthetician. He or she will lather wax onto your public area in small patches, then tear it away to remove the hair. Be advised that your esthetician has to shimmy your junk around to reach every crack and crevice. It’s strictly business, so don’t worry about your grower vs. shower situation down there.
A professional manzilian will run you anywhere from $25 and $100 depending on where you go and how much hair you have.
3 Benefits of Getting a Manzilian
You might be skeptical about dropping cash to let a stranger pour hot wax over your pubes and tear it off. But if you can endure a few minutes of discomfort, there are some real advantages to be gained from a manzilian.
It Lasts Longer Than Trimming or Shaving
When you shave or trim body hair, it grows back relatively fast, which is a hassle if you’re on vacation and don’t want to scratch your stubble. But a manzilian removes the entire root from the hair follicle, leaving you hairless for 4-6 weeks.
Less Risk of Injury
Attempting to shave your balls or butt by yourself requires surgical precision to avoid cuts and nicks. When you get a manzilian, there are no sharp objects involved, plus your junk will be in the caring hands of a professional esthetician.
It’s More Sanitary
A hairy grundle is prime real estate for swamp ass, especially during the summer months. This is when sweat pools up around your butt, leading to skin irritation and potential infections. One of the best ways to prevent swamp ass is trimming down your butt bush—or in the case of a manzilian, removing it altogether.
Removing your butt hair also makes it easier to clean up after a messy deuce and avoid skid marks on your underwear.
Spice Up Your Sex Life
When you liberate your weiner from a forest of hair, it can make it look bigger—at least to the naked eye. There’s an easy confidence boost. Your significant other might prefer your privates to be hairless too, especially if there’s butt stuff on the agenda.
How to Prep for a Manzilian
If it’s your first time getting a manzilian, make sure you follow these two rules before going in. For starters, make sure the areas you want to be waxed have at least a quarter-inch of hair growth. If it’s shorter, the wax won’t take.
The next one is less of a rule and more of a respectful gesture: clean up your crotch. Don’t go to the salon right after the gym when your junk reeks of body odor. Take a shower and wipe your butt with a flushable wipe.
Does a Manzilian Hurt?
We won’t sugar coat this: getting your pubes ripped off isn’t for the faint of heart. Anybody waxing treatment will cause some pain, but a manzilian might be worse. That’s because your groin has a very high concentration of nerves, making it one of the more sensitive areas of your body.
A lot of guys let out a gasp or grunt when they get a manzilian—that’s to be expected. You’ll probably curse yourself and swear you’ll never do it again. But once you strut around town with your silky smooth genitals, you’ll wonder how you lived any other way.
Aftercare Tips for a Manzilian
During the 24 hours after a manzilian wax, follow these tips to minimize any discomfort:
- Don’t exercise for a day, since sweat can clog your pores
- Use a moisturizing lotion to avoid ingrown hairs
- Wear loose-fitting clothes and underwear to let the area breathe
And there you have it: a comprehensive guide to the increasingly-popular manzilian. It won’t be the most pleasant way to spend an afternoon. But for a month of improved freshness, we think it’s worth a shot.